I’m drawn to your edges
like a magnet of emotions
a hypnotizing rhythm
to my thoughts
each memory fades
into another set
Which you seek to claim
You do not speak,
but you listen
which comforts the sleeves
My heart is worn
I’ve learned that you cant trust people, especially the ones you love. It’s so sad to say that people change, and hurt each other by their behaviors. People tend to point fingers rather than take their own inventory, and see their part in matters. Relationships should be balanced and accepting who that person is. They aren’t one sided or for you to mold that person to fit your needs and that person should be able to voice their opinion without being looked down on. I feel that its so hard these days to find that special someone that really wants to be in a relationship. When people are single they keep looking for that special someone to spend with them and bring happiness into their lives. Yes~ you will have some disagreements and fights, but the main key is forgivess and understanding. This person is chosing to be with you because they love you. I feel that some people get to comfortable there for dont put the effort they once did in the first months of dating. They find that the person gives them all they need and doesn’t find the need, or effort to give back in return.
Isn’t ironic, when two people first fall in love, they put more into a relationship than they usually would? They make them selves available, and they want to spend every moment with that person? They tell that person all the things they want to hear so they feel special.
Then after time, a persons defect of character start to surface. You see their true self start to emerge. They aren’t as available and tend to say hurtful things that you wouldn’t tell them. They even cuss you out, which questions why your even with them? Then you notice you aren’t as important in their lives, and you don’t feel the connection that you once had. Facebook and other Social media becomes more important in their lives, and your left giving your attention to someone who puts you on the back burner…
Why does this happen?
I for one blame technology. Yes, ~ Technology has brought us a lot off good things in life but I also have seen the flip side due to it as well. Social media for one is on the top of my list, such as Facebook. It gets in the way of our daily life ,and becomes more important than whats happening in front of you. Speaking for myself, I remember the day when there wasn’t cell phones , texting, or computers. We actually went outside and interacted with others without that distraction.
Conversations on a landline telephone where more personal then. There where no interruptions with notifications going off with your smart phone. No text messages distracting you from a conversation that you where having with someone.
People didn’t walk down the street like zombies staring into small screen…They actually looked up and smiled or said hi as you passed by. You went out to dinner and you didnt see people looknig at their smart phones, instead of interacting in a conversation. How many times have you driven down the street and noticed the car beside you is talking or texting on the phone?
Think about it….
It just makes me sad how society has changed and I hope it doesn’t get worse.
I truly believe that everything that we do and everyone that we meet is put in our path for a purpose. There are no accidents; we’re all teachers – if we’re willing to pay attention to the lessons we learn, trust our positive instincts and not be afraid to take risks or wait for some miracle to come knocking at our door.
If you’re out watering your flower garden by hand,
you naturally concentrate the flow of water to benefit
your beautiful flowers. If there’s an area of weeds,
you don’t waste water there. As best you can,
you avoid watering the weeds. It’s the same with
your consciousness. You can learn to selectively
water the positive seeds and flowers in you by
attending to them. There are enough weeds.
You don’t have to encourage them.
– Thomas Bien
Goodbye and Thank you 2013
Thank you for the good and the bad experience’s that you brought.
2013 hasn’t been to bad, Im grateful for my two beautiful pups that have been by my side through it all. I’ve learned who my real friends are after going through a scary time in my life. After my surgery I had a lot of time to self reflect and see things in a different light. I don’t like asking for help, but when your in pain and you have a dog(s) to take care of it’s challenging. Im thankful for the people who helped me out and thankful for the people who turned their backs. ( I pray that those people will never have to experience a hardship. )
So now I weeded the negative and focus on the positive things. I have been working on many things in 2013, and want to follow them into 2014. Exercising after work with my pups had helped out with so much of life’s stress. Now I feel so much better getting out and enjoying life with my two dogs. I used to spend hours wasting time in front of the TV and on social media sites.I rather talk to people on the phone or get together in person and it’s so much nicer. Texting is another thing I have been trying to avoid. It’s nice for a quick message, but not for conversations. That’s just my thoughts on that …
Peanut came into my life with love and affection in November of 2012.
Buddha was born in June of 2013 and is Peanut’s brother.
Having Two Boston Terriers has enriched my life 100 times more. Peanut and Buddha love taking hikes, going to dog meet up’s, outdoor photo excursions , trips to the beach, and visiting our friends. Now its time to take action and not just say I will, but do so 🙂
We are looking forward to our next move in 2014. I’m hoping to meet more great people on our adventures outdoors and indoors.
Wishing you all health, happiness, and joy!
Reflecting today on what a good life I have. A couple of months back I had a tumor in my bladder. It was a scary time in my life and it would be to anyone. I’m so grateful for my family and friends who supported me through it all. It’s so nice feeling loved when your scared and trying to be strong. I’m so grateful for my ex wife, taking me to the hospital and staying with me when there was no one around. It’s not a common thing to have such loving support from your ex and her husband.
Life is a blessing and I’m so happy to have great loving people in my life. So today I want to get out and enjoy life. Getting outside and enjoying what’s out there. I wish you all good things in life and stay with positive people who bring you up in hard times.
By Casey Slide
Why shouldn’t we lend money to friends and family? Polonius answers that in his next line: “For loan oft loses both itself and friend.” Polonius knew that a loan to a friend or family member often results in the loss of both the money and the relationship.
In fact, loans between family members or friends can result in an entirely unexpected set of problems. Consider the following 10 reasons not to lend money to friends and family, and some tips to help you with damage control if you do agree to loan money.
I have lent money to friends and family members and borrowed money from family members and friends, and neither situation worked out very well.
I learned a lot from both experiences. Most importantly, I learned that I’ll never loan money to friend or family member again, for the reasons outlined here. If you’ve already decided to loan money to someone close to you, here are some tips to help you mitigate some potential areas for communication breakdowns:
1. Open-ended Loans
Loans to family and friends tend to be open-ended. The parties don’t reach an agreement for a timeline for repayments, and don’t include interest on the loan. Lenders don’t know when their money will be returned, and borrowers don’t know when to repay the loans.
This leaves both parties in limbo, and doesn’t set any expectations. The uncertainty can lead to stress as the borrower may worry that the lender expects payment and the lender worries about when he or she will be repaid. When I loaned money to a family member, it delayed my decision to buy a house.
Pro Tip: If you must lend money to a family member or friend, provide them with a timeline and a schedule for repaying the loan. The timeline provides a final deadline for total repayment of the loan and the schedule provides them with guidelines for making monthly payments. For example, “John, I’m happy to lend this money to you, but I’ll need the money repaid by December 31st. If you can pay me $200 every month, the loan will be paid off by the end of December.”
2. Loans Are Not a Priority
With an open-ended loan, the borrower may not realize that there is a sense of urgency to repay the loan. Without a deadline, repaying the loan becomes the borrower’s last priority. The borrower won’t face any repercussions for not repaying the loan, like late payments, higher interest fees, or anegative impact on a credit score. Without the threat of penalties, the borrower has no motivation to take the loan seriously or to put any urgency around repaying it.
Pro Tip: Talk with your friend or family member and let him or her know that repaying this loan needs to become a priority. Set a deadline for repayment to avoid any misunderstandings.
3. It’s Difficult to Ask for the Money Back
It can be difficult to request repayment of a loan from a friend or family member. More than likely, the lender cares about the borrower, and doesn’t want the borrower to feel awkward. The lender may continue to worry about loan repayment, and thus shut down some or all communications with the borrower in order to avoid talking about the loan. The borrower becomes confused and hurt feelings can result.
Pro Tip: If you have already lent money to a friend or family member and struggle with asking for the money, take the time to talk to the borrower to resolve the situation. When I had a difficult time talking to my family member about paying back a loan, I offered gentle reminders about the loan instead of asking direct questions. This made the discussions easier and less threatening.
4. It Can Make Family Gatherings Awkward
I have loaned money to a family member, and I have also borrowed money from a family member. In both scenarios, family get-togethers were very awkward. I felt uncomfortable being around the person who loaned me money. It was also uncomfortable to be around other family members who knew about the loans.
No one wants to talk about the loan or about money or even about anything that costs money, because then people might wonder why someone hasn’t repaid the loan.
Pro Tip: You and the other party came to a private agreement about the loan. Neither party should feel uncomfortable, but if family gatherings seem awkward, keep things lighthearted and steer conversations away from money.
5. The Borrower Becomes a Servant to the Lender
The book of Proverbs in the Bible claims that the borrower becomes a servant to the lender (Proverbs 22:7.) This is exactly how I felt when I borrowed money. I felt that I had to please my lender and do everything that he suggested. I felt like I could not oppose this person in any way.
Pro Tip: As a lender, I didn’t think of my borrower as a servant to me, and I certainly didn’t want my borrower to feel that way. If you think the borrower feels subjugated, try to help ease his or her discomfort.
6. The Borrower May Ask for More
Once you have lent money to a friend or family member, this person may return when he or she needs more money. In addition, other friends and family members may also ask you for a loan.
Pro Tip: Don’t become the go-to lender in your circle of family and friends. You should never be in a state of constant lending.
7. You Enable Instead of Help Your Friend or Family Member
When you lend money to friends or family members, you give them an easy way out of their financial problems, instead of helping them work through their issues.
For example, your cousin may ask for some money to pay off her credit card bill, but she needs help learning how to make a budget. In that situation, refuse the loan, but offer to help your cousin create a budget or to look for alternative forms of income.
Pro Tip: Put your friends or family members in a position that improves their financial situation as well as their understanding of money management in order to truly help them.
8. These Types of Loans Don’t Earn Interest
Loaning money to friends and family costs you money. Most likely, you won’t charge interest if you give a loan to a loved one. I neither paid interest nor charged interest on my family loans. If you could invest the money that you lent to friends and family members, even through peer-to-peer lending networks like Lending Club and Prosper, you could have received interest.
Pro Tip: Charging your friends or family members interest on loans might seem awkward, but it isn’t unreasonable. Obviously, the interest rate would be much lower than the rates offered by local banks or credit card companies.
9. You Might Need the Money
You definitely want your money returned, but you may also need your money. What if you lose your job and you have no income? What if you spend your entire emergency fund while searching for a new job? What if you need to put food on the table for your kids and repayment of the loan marks the difference between you keeping your house or going into foreclosure? Not receiving repayment of the loan in a timely manner might spell disaster for you and your family.
Pro Tip: If you have any hint that you may lose your job, or that any sort of personal financial downswing is on the horizon, don’t lend money to family members or friends. Tell them honestly that you have a tenuous financial situation, and can’t spare the money.
10. You Could Lose Your Money and Relationship
As Shakespeare wrote, “For loan oft loses both itself and friend.” If you lend money to a friend or family member, beware that you may not get your money back and your relationship may never go back to normal. This will cause tension between you and the borrower, and may also cause guilt, remorse, and anger.
Pro Tip: The risk of damaging your relationship should be part of the initial discussion you have about borrowing or lending money. For example, “Kathy, I want to help, but I’ve heard horror stories about family members lending each other money. What can we do to ensure this doesn’t happen to us?”
Even though you want to be a good person, and you want your friend or family member to love you, don’t lend him or her money if you can help it. Gently refuse the loan, and determine the best way to help your loved ones, instead of enabling them.
Sometimes loving someone involves doing something that they do not want, and they may be disappointed or mad. But if you have their best interests in mind, you can rest easier knowing you won’t jeopardize your relationship. If you can afford to loan money to a family member or friend, have an open and honest conversation to discuss any potential problems with the loan. Most of the time, issues related to these types of personal loans can be quickly resolved with a frank discussion.
Have you lent money to friends or family members? What was the experience like? Would you do it again?
(photo credit: Shutterstock)
You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts.
How many times I sit thinking and questioning my life. Pondering why things happen the way they do. It’s so easy not be grateful for what I have, and I seem to compare what positive things others have in there life.
There’s so many beautiful things the world has to offer. Just because things aren’t going the way I imagined or my expectations weren’t met. This is where photography opened my eyes.
Photo by Taz Romagna
In late 2012 I purchased a Canon t4i DSLR camera. I’ve always loved taking pictures and when Instagram started up it really opened my eyes looking at other people’s photo’s. Todays cell phones have such great quality cameras. Even the editing apps our so amazing!
This was taken with my iPhone 4S
So this brings me to today. I’m a divorced father with two beautiful children. I don’t see my children that often so this gives me a lot of alone time where I want to keep my focus on the positive things life has stored. My goal in life is to be happy and be with the woman of my dreams.
photo by Taz Romagna
I’m not a person to sit still and I can’t spend hours on the Internet. I love the outdoors and hands on recreation. This is the perfect door where photography inspired me.
photo by Taz Romagna
Next time you go hiking, playing tennis, riding your bike or car/motorcycle look for that chance to take a opportunity for that capture to keep. If your alone or with a special person in your life. Never let a missed opportunity go by without a special keep sake.
Believe me, you will be glad you did!